Once upon a time the Hot Air Balloon Outlaw terrorized the Steampunk Kingdom. Well, terrorized is a relative term. To the greedy, rich nobles who possessed vaults full of gold and jewels, which the outlaw regularly raided on her many daring escapades, she was indeed a terror. Wanted posters featuring her silhouette hung throughout the kingdom, offering a small fortune in return for any information that resulted in her capture. These were ineffective, however, because the poor and oppressed, who made up the vast majority of the kingdom’s population, viewed her as a hero. She stole from the rich and shared her spoils with everyone else, filling the role of a steampunk Robin Hood, and the common people viewed her as a much more reliable friend and patron than a one-time payoff from the nobility.

            Her real name was Cassandra, but her friends called her Cassie. She was strikingly beautiful, which only added to her legend. Her hair was jet black, and fell around her shoulders in loose curls. She wore matching black jodhpurs, a leather bomber jacket, and thick tinted goggles when she was in the air. Her balloon was massive, but it moved through the sky with the dexterity of a hummingbird, thanks to her mastery. She used two main levers to fly it. One controlled the gas-powered flame that burned above her basket, directly under the balloon’s opening. This adjusted the temperature of the air in the balloon, affecting the overall altitude at which the balloon travelled. The other lever shifted an assortment of weights slung over the side of the basket. Repositioning the weights allowed her to make quick and precise movements in mid-flight, and also aided her intricate landing sequences.

            These were actually very impressive. She floated through the air until she spotted a castle or noble estate. The rich usually lived out in the seclusion of the country, far away from the filth and noise of the overpopulated and polluted cities, and their homes were impossible to miss. Surrounded by vast acres of farmland toiled over by serfs, the lords and ladies lived in luxurious mansions with swimming pools, stables, and croquet courses. Only the very wealthy played croquet, and they usually did it on horseback. But even with the horses, the air around these magnificent estates smelled sweeter than the rest of the kingdom, and the scent drifted all the way up to the clouds. Cassie could sniff it out, and then she lowered the flame under her balloon. Her basket dropped from the sky at an alarming speed that would have terrified the average person, but she got a rush out of it. The Outlaw slowed the balloon just a bit with one last burst of flame, right before tossing a rope over the side. She gave the lever controlling the weights a yank and slid down the rope until she reached the end of it. Then she would leap and tuck her legs in underneath her, somersaulting across the rooftop until she slid to a graceful stop. The balloon, meanwhile, guided by the shifting weights around its basket, would glide to a stop, effectively docking itself against the opposite side of the roof just in time for a wooden plank to automatically deploy from the basket to the house’s gable. All of this was done so quickly and quietly that the people in the house had no idea that she had even arrived. Perhaps an observant serf happened to glance upward and caught sight of her descent, but they had no motivation to sound the alarm.

            In any case, Cassie was already in the house. While the inhabitants feasted on exquisite five course meals or rested peacefully in their feather beds, she maneuvered unseen through the house with the skill of a gymnast, pocketing anything of value in her path. Her real goal was always in the basement, however. Every rich person in the kingdom had a vault in their basement. They must have held a meeting and decided it was the safest place to store their valuables, but this simply wasn’t the case with the Hot Air Balloon Outlaw around. Some of them had more complex safes and locks than others, but none of them stood a chance against Cassie’s hairpin. She was a master lockpick, and she simply had to remove it from her curls and it was only a matter of time before she was inside. Then she filled her bags and made her way back to the roof. She strolled across the plank to the safety of her basket, and her marks were still usually unaware of her presence. She blew the oblivious saps a kiss, stoked the fire, and ascended to the clouds. Her next stop was the city, where she distributed her newfound wealth to the common people, keeping just enough to resupply and put food on her own table. The people cheered and waved as she flew away again. Without her help, many of them would have starved to death— or worse, if such a fate was possible.

            Naturally, certain myths and stories circulated about her as the Hot Air Balloon Outlaw’s fame grew. Some were outright ridiculous. Eyewitnesses claimed that she could fly even without the balloon. People swore Cassie could shoot flames from her eyes, and that she hypnotized her victims with the mere sound of her voice. Other rumors possessed more merit. For example, it was said that her balloon was magic and indestructible. This was not exactly accurate. As far as Cassie knew, the balloon possessed no magical traits. However, she did purchase the material it was made out of from an old crone at an exotic market. She didn’t know what it was called, but it was extremely durable. The arrows of enemy archers were repelled like magnets with opposite poles. Blunt projectiles ricocheted off of it like it was made of rubber. Attempts to burn the balloon out of the sky were also doomed to failure. The material would simply not catch on fire. And the color of the balloon itself was constantly changing, though Cassie had very little control over this. Sometimes it transformed into a bright array of vibrant colors, as if it were feeling pretty and wanted to show off. At other times it was more strategic in its efforts to camouflage, turning various shades of blue and gray to blend in with the clear skies and the clouds.

            Regardless of what was true and what was fiction, the nobility was fed up with her exploits and determined to put a stop to her once and for all. They met in a secret counsel and devised a plan to trap the Hot Air Balloon Outlaw. First, they moved all their gold and jewels to the king’s vault under his castle. They made a big show of it too, proclaiming it was the only place they could be sure their riches would be safe. With the bait set, they positioned sentries at each of the castle’s watchtowers and waited. Cassie made it in unseen anyway, sneaking into the dungeon vault while her balloon docked against one of the castle turrets. She picked the lock with ease and loaded her bags with loot, then snuck back aboard her balloon. No one had noticed her presence, but the greedy king got the shakes if he spent too long apart from his money. Against the advice of his counselors, who feared it might jeopardize their trap, he snuck down to the dungeon to roll around in his gold like a pig in filth, and realized it was already gone. Panicked, he sounded the alarm just as Cassie was lifting off. Archers unloaded on her balloon, but the arrows harmlessly bounced off of it like they always did. The Hot Air Balloon Outlaw looked like she would get away again, but the nobles had a secret weapon this time. They lit a giant cannon aimed straight up into the sky and it fired with a boom that shook the ground beneath. They weren’t trying to shoot at the balloon though. There was no cannon ball inside the cannon, but there was a massive net. It shot into the sky higher than the balloon and spread out, before falling back down to the ground. The net covered the entire castle, trapping Cassie and her balloon inside the walls. She tried to squeeze through an opening as it descended, but even she was not fast enough. After so many successful heists, the Hot Air Balloon Outlaw had finally been caught.

            The nobles gloated as they let the air out of her balloon and carried her away to the dungeon. They put Cassie in chains and took her lucky hairpin, so she wouldn’t be able to use it to escape. Then they sent out word across the land announcing their victory. A trial was held, but it was a sham. Cassie wasn’t allowed any defense. The only argument made in front of the judge was whether she should be sentenced to prison for the rest of her life or if she should be executed. The judge decided on execution. He decreed that she would have her head chopped off in the guillotine in exactly one week.

            The nobles took a deep breath and relaxed. Finally, things would return to normal. They would be rid of the Hot Air Balloon Outlaw forever, and they could go back to keeping all the wealth to themselves. Except the common people had other ideas. Cassie was their hero. She had helped them more times than they could count, and they were not going to turn their backs on her now that she needed their assistance. So they gathered their torches and pitchforks and stormed the king’s castle. The nobles were caught off guard and overwhelmed. They had no idea that the common people were capable of standing up for themselves. The people knocked down the door of the dungeon and freed Cassie from her chains just minutes before she was scheduled to go to the block. They gave her back her lucky hairpin and pulled out her deflated balloon in the courtyard. Gathering all the captured nobles together, they forced them to blow into tubes connected to the balloon. Their collective hot air inflated the balloon in record time, and Cassie stepped into the basket. She waved goodbye and thanked them as the balloon climbed into the air, knowing she would never see any of them again. The commoners were unloading the contents of the vault and distributing it fairly among everyone. The nobles grumbled, but they were smart enough to accept the new reality. A new day was dawning, and inspired by her example, the Steampunk Kingdom no longer required the services of the Hot Air Balloon Outlaw.

            So she would keep flying until she found the next place that did.

-THE END-

Patrick’s work has been featured in Heater, Tales of Old, eNoir, Nth Degree, Kiosk, and The Circle. Additionally, he co-hosts a podcast called Librarian Historians.