Simon reaches for the remote.

On TV: The Siberian Power Show. Specifically: “The Male Slapping Championship.” A huge man named Apple Dumpling stands at a black table. He wears a wool sweater, in color the walnut of back hair. Across the table his opponent, a Croatian college student, stands confidently – possibly arrogantly? – waiting to be slapped. They are in some sort of glass atrium. There are dozens of people in the audience, they stand on steel risers. Simon can’t understand what the announcers are saying, he can’t decipher the strange marks closed captioned, symbols that he associates with terrorism. With 9/11. He feels bad. Caucasian. Maybe racist. But only for a moment.

This is an ancient form of sport. Of television. There is not some blond big-chested reporter positioned beside the men. And everyone is white. This is both mesmerizing and unsettling. Those watching, like Simon (sort of), do so because they love the game.

A real-life David versus Goliath, Simon is certain the Croat is going to win the contest. Apple Dumpling slowly draws back his arm and swings with measured fury, slapping his young opponent silly. The man drops to the floor like a wet blanket. The crowd politely claps. Simon is stunned. When he watches the slap in slow motion—the Croat’s head jerks so violently backward, before returning to its original, set position, that, even when slowed, it’s like he hasn’t been struck—he remembers why he can’t stomach actual, real-life, violence.

Simon reaches for his phone.

Richard writes and teaches outside Ithaca, NY. A Perry Morgan Fellow from Old Dominion University's MFA program, his fiction and poetry is featured in numerous publications. His debut novel, BEING DEAD, will be available from Brigids Gate Press fall, 2023. His unique literary work, "Johannes & Merritt" (Dark Lake Publishing), is available from Amazon. And his luminous love story, “Jennifer,” will be available from DreamPunk press January, 2023. Follow him on Twitter @coy_harlingen.